


Laser Tag

by Moonscar



Series: The Forbidden Avenger Chatroom [18]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cannibalism, Chatting & Messaging, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Laser Tag, M/M, Mother Hen Steve Rogers, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Precious Peter Parker, Texting, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, chatroom, chatroom fic, text fic, texting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 04:11:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17759528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonscar/pseuds/Moonscar
Summary: CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: these scrambled eggs taste amazing Cap thank yooouuuuSpider-Burrito: *GASP*Spider-Burrito: CANNIBALISMFalconsAreCool: Omg he is literally screaming bloody murder someone make him s t o pSheBeSneaky: on it





	Laser Tag

**IronPopTartMan** : okay before this day even starts i'm just saying

 **IronPopTartMan** : if i see natasha throw peter in the air during laser tag and they say they do this every other tuesday or some shit i'll have seen it all-

 **SheBeSneaky** : who's to say we don't?

 **IronPopTartMan** : ...

 **Spider-Burrito** : don't worry mr.stark, nothing like that will happen

 **Spider-Burrito** : right ms.romanov?

 **SheBeSneaky** : sure

 **IronPopTartMan** : why am i not convinced?

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : I don't think anyones convinced

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : Anyways, me and Cap made breakfast so if you're hungry, or eat breakfast at all, come get the food

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : F O O D

 **FalconsAreCool** : what the actual fuck i swear he was a sleep just a few seconds ago

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : food is my calling

 **FalconsAreCool** : i suppose you won't miss these arrows peter has been working on then?

 **FalconsAreCool** : hhmmm?

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : touch them and i will beat your ass at laser tag

 **FalconsAreCool** : ha, tough luck

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : you're so on-

 **IronPopTartMan** : peter, i think your work has caused another civil war-

 **Spider-Burrito** : i'm sorry?

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : these scrambled eggs taste amazing Cap thank yooouuuu

 **Spider-Burrito** : *GASP*

 **Spider-Burrito** : CANNIBALISM

 **FalconsAreCool** : Omg he is literally screaming bloody murder someone make him s t o p

 **SheBeSneaky** : on it

**Mr.Jesus** : clint looks legitimately traumatized-

 **Mr.Jesus:** now he's eating the pancakes instead

 **CaptainMotherHen** : someone go comfort him and tell him their just chicken eggs-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKER** : it's still a part of the same family!

 **Spider-Burrito** : actually, chickens are a part of the Phasianidae family, but domesticated chickens are simply classified as  Gallus domesticus, while Hawks are in the Accipitridae family.

 **IronPopTartMan** : i thought you were into science? not into zoology?

 **Spider-Burrito** : well, i go to a school for science and technology, but Living Science is a thing as well-

 **Spider-Burrito** : you're right though, i prefer chemicals and mechanics-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : ... i still don't feel that comforted-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : so it's not cannibalism?

 **Spider-Burrito** : if you look into the nitty-gritty details like a did, i suppose not

 **Spider-Burrito** : their stil a part of the bird family but in different sections of it so you should be fine? 

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : ...

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : ok

**Spider-Burrito** : so when are we leaving?

 **IronPopTartMan** : around 10, we'll leave around 5 

 **Spider-Burrito** : can i work in the lab before we go please? i still have 2 hours-

 **IronPopTartMan** : sure, just don't cover it in mucus again

 **Spider-Burrito** : it wasn't mucus! it was just a failed web fluid!

 **IronPopTartMan** : suureeee

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : do i even want to know what happens when you guys are locked in the labs?

 **IronPopTartMan** : you really don't

 **IronPopTartMan** : to many things have happened

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i realized

**IronPopTartMan** : peter come on we need to go-

 **Spider-Burrito** : nooooo

 **IronPopTartMan** : you suggested this, therefore you're coming with us

 **Spider-Burrito** : 5 more minutes-

 **IronPopTartMan** : don't make me come and get you-

 **Spider-Burrito** : ugh, fine, i'm coming-

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : like father like son

 **IronPopTartMan** : it's frustrating, that's what it is

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : now you know how i feel-

 **IronPopTartMan** : ...

 **IronPopTartMan** : i could deny it

 **IronPopTartMan** : but there's really no point

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : exactly

**Spider-Burrito** : why are we going in a limousine?

 **IronPopTartMan** : because we don't all fit in a van

 **Spider-Burrito** : i know that, but why did we use a bus last time?

 **IronPopTartMan** : because it varies from time to time- we barely all fit in a limo, so it's more comfortable in the bus but here we are-

 **Spider-Burrito** : okay then-

**PopTartLover** : Why is the ceiling so low in this vehicle?

 **IronPopTartMan** : because it wasn't made for you gigantic people

 **CaptainMotherHen** : we aren't gigantic, you're just small

 **IronPopTartMan** : SAY THAT AGAIN, I DARE YOU-

 **CaptainMotherHen** : smol bean

 **IronPopTartMan** : THAT'S IT-!

 **Spider-Burrito** : MR.STARK NO-

**TonyNeedsSleep** : So now that we've calmed down these two children, what do we do?

 **SheBeSneaky** : talk in real life like humans usually do

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : The only people who are completely human here are you, tony and clint

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : then what are you?

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : A cyborg, obviously

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : okay, i'll give you that one-

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : AND WE HAVE ARRIVED-

 **Spider-Burrito** : wow it's a lot bigger than i thought it would be-

 **IronPopTartMan** : wait, have you never done laser tag?

 **Spider-Burrito** : of course i have! 

 **Spider-Burrito** : just

 **Spider-Burrito** : it wasn't this big-

 **IronPopTartMan** : well, we need a big arena for all of us- 

 **Spider-Burrito** : true-

**IronPopTartMan** : okay so what are the teams?

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : oh oh! can we make team leaders to choose?

 **IronPopTartMan** : what are you? a preschool student-

 **Spider-Burrito** : i like that idea

 **IronPopTartMan** : ...

 **IronPopTartMan** : okay then, clint and peter are the team leaders then?

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : yes!

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i pick first-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : uh, i choose cap

 **Spider-Burrito** : i pick bucky

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : okay then, i choose tony

 **IronPopTartMan** : i suddenly regret letting this happen-

 **Spider-Burrito** : i pick nat, since us spiders must stick together

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i call bruce

 **CoolScienceBro** : i never agreed to this-

 **Spider-Burrito** : i choose mr.falcon

 **FalconsAreCool** : that isn't my name-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i choose thor

 **Spider-Burrito** : i pick loki and bruce

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : ... i'm supposed to have bruce

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : but since we all care about you (and i'll get my head ripped off if i don't agree) i'll let you have him-

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : ok so now that that's settled let's go!

**Spider-Burrito** : wait who's gonna take care of Tess while we're all playing?

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : I am, since I don't really want to participate

 **Spider-Burrito** : oh, ok! thank you!

 **CoolScienceBro** : Can I stand back as well?

 **Spider-Burrito** : i mean... if you really want to?

 **CoolScienceBro** : ... I'll join

 **Spider-Burrito** : thank you! =D

 

 **Spider-Burrito** : hehehehe

 **IronPopTartMan** : kid, what the hell did you put as your username?

 **Spider-Burrito** : you'll see 

 **IronPopTartMan** : i can hear you cackling-

 **Spider-Burrito** : you hear nothing-

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : LET THE GAMES BEGIN

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : OKAY SO UNCOOL PETER HOW DARE YOU BE ON THE CEILING-

**IronPopTartMan** : SINCE WHEN IS BRUCE SO GOOD AT LASER TAG!?!

 **IronPopTartMan** : IT JUST

 **IronPopTartMan** : DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

 **CoolScienceBro** : i dabbled in laser tag a couple years ago-

 **IronPopTartMan** : i-

 **IronPopTartMan** : i can't believe this

**IronPopTartMan** : wtf, this kid can't even use a gun but he hasn't missed any of us once-

 **IronPopTartMan** : ALSO WHY HAVEN'T YOU HIT HIM YET YOU ARE LITERALLY ONE OF THE SHARPEST SHOOTERS ON THIS TEAM

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : DIVYDVIVUUOGBWDIHWHP

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : I'M GOD WITH A BOW, NOT THIS LASER FUCKERY

**CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : FINALLY I HIT HIM-

 **IronPopTartMan** : wtf

 **IronPopTartMan** : WHY IS HIS USERNAME  _SUMMONING THE SPIDERS_

 **IronPopTartMan** : CAN YOU ACTUALLY SUMMON SPIDERS?!?!

 **Spider-Burrito** : i don't know, can i?

 **IronPopTartMan** : jesus fucking christ-

 **IronPopTartMan** : i should've drunk more coffee this morning

 **TonyNeedsSleep:** I'm not there with you guys, but you really shouldn't have

 **IronPopTartMan** : OKAY WHO JUST SHOT AT ME-

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : And he's gone

 **SheBeSneaky** : or maybe just skillfully dodging that conversation

 **TonyNeedsSleep** : Probably that too

**Spider-Burrito** : did cap just-?!

 **Spider-Burrito** : yeet his gun?!

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : HAHAHAHA

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : LITTLE DID HE KNOW THAT IT WAS A DISTRACTION FOR HIS FATHER FIGURE TO SHOOT AT HIM

 **SheBeSneaky** : why are you narrating this

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : to remember my beautiful victories

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i can feel your eye roll from across the room, stop that-

 **SheBeSneaky** : it's hard to do so when i'm surrounding by such stupidity

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : i will take my revenge (ง’̀-‘́)ง

 **SheBeSneaky** : that's sickeningly adorable

 **CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS** : how dare you-

~~~~**Spider-Burrito** : watching Clint face plant into a wall while running away from Bucky is a mood

 **MischievousSnek** : my mood is the black widow shooting everyone without them knowing and them shooting at everyone except her-

 **Spider-Burrito** : y e s

**PopTartLover** : BROTHER

 **MischievousSnek** : YOU MUST LEARN YOUR LESSON IN TRUSTING ME

 **MischievousSnek** : ESPECIALLY SINCE WE"RE ON OPPOSITE TEAMS WHAT DID YOU EXPECT!?!

 **PopTartLover** : A SECRET ALLIANCE

 **MischievousSnek** : HA

 **Spider-Burrito** : top 10 anime betrayals

~~~~**FalconsAreCool** : I wonder how mad the owners will be about the fact that there are now spider webs stuck to the ceiling

 **CaptainMotherHen** : Probably not mad enough

 **FalconsAreCool** : ... True

**Author's Note:**

> This was a bitch and a half to write I swear to god.
> 
> Fun fact: It's not even done, but I need to post it because I need to write the Valentines Day special, which is completely ruining the timeline I created for this whole thing but it's okay.
> 
> Did I mention I need to post that in two days, and I haven't started yet, and I have volunteer work to do after school ^^;
> 
> I could use the excuse that it's because of volunteer work that this didn't come early enough, but that would be a lie. I only did about 13 to 14 hours of volunteer work (probably a bit more if i'm completely honest but that's all i can recall rn) in the past 2 weeks and I've had a whole month to write this. I'm really sorry guys, this just didn't come out the way I hoped it would.
> 
> I don't know why, I just despise this part of the series, which is one of the reasons why it took so long to write because I'm not proud of it... I hope you guys like it though =3
> 
> Please leave a comment! I love reading them and replying to them! =D


End file.
